Wanting to go full force into my new stay-at-home mom job, what was my first job?  Since my kids were 6,7,and 10 at the time, I figured I needed at least one kid at home to make my new job plausible, so I decided to let the baby making begin!  Grant was on board before I could get the words out of my mouth, but my body balked at the idea.  After 11 months of  'Bugs Bunny' every day, a surgery, and enough drugs to insure I would never ride in the Tour De France with Lance, my doctor advised that nothing was working and IVF may be my only option.  Well, to heck with that, we went on vacation.

We decided to take the kids to Universal Studios in Orlando, and Grant came up with the brilliant idea of staying with his aunt and uncle and taking Grandmother with us to visit while we vacationed.  If I hadn't done so much wrong in my life that I was worried I wasn't going to get into Heaven, I would've said no, but I needed to get some brownie points with God just to hedge my bet, so I said ok.  So here we go, Grant driving, Grandmother shotgun 'on account a her car sickness,' and me and the kids in the back.  When Grandmother walked out with a picnic basket, I knew we were two wood paneling stripes away from being the Griswolds.  I won't bore you with the details, but 18 hours later, after 50 potty breaks and an hour long picnic at an 'appropriate' picnic area, we pulled into the family driveway.

I went straight to one of the guest rooms to escape the fussing, feet, and frustration of the trip and to try and calm MY 18 hours of car sickness before we loaded back up to go to Universal Studios.  After an appropriate amount of family time, we headed out to start our vacation.  The park was amazing.  Our family loves roller coasters and U.S. did not disappoint.  For a solid week, we rode and rerode everything in the park.  At the end of the week, we packed back up and headed back to Mississippi.

On the return trip, it was JUST as much fun as it was before without the anticipation of a great vacation ahead of us.  Yep, the party was over and that trip back was LOOONG.  16 hours later (amazing how a picnic and potty aren't nearly as important as getting back home and away from each other), we pulled into Grandmother's driveway.  The minute she shut the door, the fireworks began.  You see, in my family, if somebody doesn't get a good cussing at least once a week, they don't feel normal, so an entire week's worth of nice had to end.

I had fought motion sickness the entire time we were on vacation, but even after I got home, I couldn't shake it.  Finally, I took a pregnancy test despite the fact that the doctor said I wasn't pregnant just a week before.  Any wouldn't you know it, I was pregnant.  My fetus had rode every dang ride at Universal Studios!  I just knew he would be born with his toes coming out of his ear from being shaken so much when he was getting put together, but luckily, he came out beautifully normal.

Just a few months back, Grant's aunt and uncle came for a visit with Grandmother.  While reminiscing about our fun family vacation, Aunt Jeannie bursts out, "And to think, Jake was CONCEIVED at my house in Pam's old room!"  My jaw hit the floor and bile rose in my throat.  WTH was she thinking?  For 8 years she thought I….did the bunny hop…..in her house…..in Pam's old room…..surrounded with plastic flowers and kitty figurines…. What on God's green earth would possess her to think that 3 octogenarians and 3 kids in a 3 bedroom house would lend itself to baby making?  When I told her I was pregnant BEFORE we came, relief washed over both her and Grandmother.  Needless to say, I'm pretty sure I was a harlot in their minds for nearly a decade until I set the record straight.