If the cops have never come to arrest you while you are in your undies, you can't appreciate this blog.

Mama, I know you know the boys were conceived by immaculate conception, so put your hand over the next couple of lines and skip to the end.

The rest of you, if premarital stuff bothers you, skip this blog.

Now, I should be down to the little nasty folks like me that have a little tilt on their halo, so let me tell you about one of my most embarrassing moments in my entire life.

The first time I spent the night at Grant's house (there's the premarital part), before we went to sleep, he told me he had an early appointment, but he would be back before lunch, so I just could hang around the house until the got back.  Grant got up the next morning and went to work and I slept in.  When I got up to go to the bathroom a while later, I set off the MOTION ALARM!!!  This idiot that I loved up to this point had cut on his house alarm along with his motion detector.  The phone rang and it was the security company asking for the password.  I told them I didn't know, but I was calling the owner to tell me what it was.  I put them on hold and ran over to cut off the siren and call Grant.  About this time I hear a knock on the door.  I look through the window and see the freaking police!  I open the door in a t-shirt and undies (not matching even fyi) to see two uniformed cuties with huge smiles on their face.  To make it even worse, one of them was a former boyfriend of Grant's ex-wife, so he KNEW Grant and knew I wasn't his wife (I hope at least he knew she was an ex by then, but I didn't ask.)

I was trying to explain to them what happened when I remembered the security company on the phone.  I left the door and called Grant's cell phone on my cell phone as the security lady waited and the cops let themselves in to watch what happened next.  I got Grant on the phone and asked him the password, and he……wait for it……wait for it……he said, "Uhhhhh….." Now here I am half naked with two cops and a lady just itching to say, "Book her, Dan-O," and I yelled at him, "I'm standing here with two very amused cops in your shirt and a smile, so you better give me that damn password."  He reluctantly gave it up (we are freaking engaged and he later told me he was worried about giving me the password because if we didn't work out I could break in.  Yeah, like I would break in and steal your green plastic couch and egyptian gold table.  Sorry, I got off track)  But wait, the most embarrassing moment of my life hasn't happened yet.

I finally was finished with the security lady and was escorting the by now blushing cops to the door when……oh yeah, it's that bad……Grant's Granny pulled up!!!  The security company called her because she was his alternate contact person and she came to investigate.  Now, not only does the security company and the Tupelo P.D. know that I am THAT kind of girl, but also an 80 year old lady that doesn't like anybody and now HATED me for being THAT kind of girl at her grandson's house.  Well, the cops held up, again to see what happened next, while I explained, now on the front porch in my undies and a shirt, the whole story again.  Conveniently, Grant's appointment supposedly lasted a tad longer than expected, just about 30 minutes after everyone left.  Oh, boy, did we have a DISCUSSION!

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, was the most embarrassing moment of my life.